THE RIFLE CLUB HOTEL

The Rifle Club Hotel, 121 Victoria St, Williamstown

Situated in one of Melbourne’s oldest suburbs with a rich history it’s a wonder how the class and prestige managed to miss this establishment. It has become the introductory drinking spot for the Williamstown locals. “The Riff” as it is known by the regulars not only introduces the minors of Williamstown to the art of drinking but also teaches them a lesson or two about the gambling industry. The TAB and the Pokie machines provide hours of depressing entertainment, leaving the participants with plenty of time to contemplate why they are sitting in such a place at 3.30am on a Tuesday.

The big draw card of the “The Riff” is the Tuesday night Pot and Parma special. At only $12 it’s something no one could say no to. The Parma itself is quite large and there is a generous helping of chips and salads to top off the meal. The pot which comes with the course is usually multiplied by 3 by the end of the dish and then tripled again by the time the patron walks out the door. After all these cold beers running straight from the tap to the guest’s mouth they have no choice but to use the facilities.

This brings us onto the sticky business. The floors in The Rifle Club Hotel’s toilet are in need of a good mopping, the old farts and young hooligans seem to have quite some trouble with aiming. The cubicle I entered had not been flushed, this is yet another sign that the locals little to no care for the place they choose to consume a cold beverage on a regular basis. All the locks are intact, and there is nice industrial sized rolls of 1ply toilet paper to further more enhance the experience for the sitter.  With piss on the floor and seat, and an unflushed toilet to greet you I can safely say the state of the toilet is in keeping with the establishment itself.

6/10       By Tim Masseni